Chefs of the Universe!
by M.H. Torringjan
Summary: A comedy I wrote in my free time between chapters and stuff. Who'd have thought that the Iron Chefs would live long enough to challenge Rena and other anime characters? well, Rena's up first!


Chefs of the Universe!  
  
Episode One: Rena  
  
For those of you who are reading this: I'm sorry! The show sucked me in   
after I first saw it on the Daily Show! Playing Star Ocean 2 only supplemented   
the damage done! I just figured that it would be interesting to pit the cooking   
masters (or maybe those not so skilled at cooking) against the *Iron Chefs*!!!   
Since she was such an obvious candidate, I picked Rena to go first. After all,   
the game did almost completely copy (I don't like the term, "rip off") ;-) the   
show. I figure that I'll have some fun with this idea before someone slaps a   
complaint flame on my ass.  
I'll warn you now. You should easily be able to tell who my favorite Iron   
Chef is, hee, hee...  
Now, for the standard fanfic disclaimers. I don't own Iron Chef or any of   
its associated characters. Fuji TV does. I don't own Star Ocean 2 or any of   
its associated characters. Tri-Ace and Enix do. Any of the anime characters   
that are mentioned in the course of the fic are not mine (with one exception who   
may appear at some time or another). Well, having said that, let's get it on!  
  
Standard Intro-sequence (What new innovations will the challenger bring   
to the Stadium today? And how will the Iron Chef fight back?)  
"If memory serves me right," Chairman Kaga begins, "I recently traveled to   
the Headquarters of the Terran Federation to meet one of its higher officers,   
Claude Kenni. While I was there, I was treated to a meal by his wife, Rena   
Lanford Kenni. She served me some of the most beautiful and delicious meals   
that I have ever been served at such a meeting. Her handling of a variety of   
ingredients and the skill with which she tops them left me in awe of her   
ability.  
"When I asked where she had learned such skills, she replied that she had   
taught herself for the most part, with some encouragement by participating in   
the Cooking Master competition on Planet Nede under my good friend, Yarma. She   
said that she had won the contest a few times. When I heard this, I immediately   
invited her to join us here in Cooking Stadium to test her mettle against our   
own best. She pretended not to know what I was talking about! Now, Rena, enter   
the Stadium and try your brand of Home-cooking against our long-trained Iron   
Chefs."  
  
Chairman Kaga enters the Stadium, wearing a red vest with sequins and dark   
purple pants. "Today, we have a challenger who is completely without any formal   
training from outside influences, and doesn't even work in a restaurant.   
Actually, she serves her husband and his guests at the Headquarters of the   
Terran Federation. However, she has some experience in our sort of competition.   
Let's bring her on, from the Headquarters of the Terran Federation- Rena Lanford   
Kenni!"  
Rena walks in, followed by her eleven companions. Nine of them file into   
the box above the Arena while Rena goes to talk to Chairman Kaga. Chisato and   
Noel stay below to serve as her assistants.  
"It's rare to have a woman battle against an Iron Chef these days," Kaga   
begins. "But I know that it is deserved in this case."  
"Thank you," Rena replies. "I'll do my best to live up to your   
expectations."  
"Good luck," Kaga replies. "I summon the Iron Chefs!"  
The Iron Chefs now ascend into the Stadium! Iron Chef Terran Hiroyuki   
Sakai, Iron Chef Moon Masaharu Morimoto, Iron Chef Felpool Chen Kenichi, and   
Iron Chef Jurai Masahiko Kobe! These guys look perfectly preserved and ready to   
do battle once again in their home field!  
"Now, who do you choose?" Kaga asks Rena.  
"I challenge Iron Chef Terran Hiroyuki Sakai!" Rena exclaims.  
Iron Chef Terran Sakai! When earth was discovered to not be alone in   
cooking, the battle ensued between the Iron Chefs to see who was to be the   
representative for the Planet. Iron Chef Sakai easily bested his first   
opponent, Iron Chef Kenichi. He was awarded the choice and battle type for the   
next battle against Iron Chef Kobe. He knew that Kobe's weakness was desserts,   
so he chose a familiar ingredient, strawberries. A dessert battle ensued that   
rocked the culinary world from one side to the other! In the end, Sakai emerged   
victorious! After that, he was pushed into a battle against Masaharu Morimoto,   
where artistic French-Japanese cooking was pitted against new-wave Japanese   
cooking! The battle ended in a tie, leading to a tie-breaker, which led to   
another tie-breaker! This was the equivalent of two full battles for the price   
of one!  
In the third tie-breaker, Sakai pulled a rabbit out of his hat to surpass   
Morimoto by one point, leaving Sakai the Master of Earth's cuisine and the rest   
to go searching for new techniques to learn. This resulted in their absence for   
twenty years more. Periodically during that time, one of them would return,   
sporting the others as assistants, to challenge Sakai's reign, but they were   
defeated each time by getting their styles and tastes in conflict, leading to   
arguments and discord. Sakai is still the undisputed Delacroix of Terran   
Cuisine!  
"For today's battle, we have gathered some of the choicest specimens of   
one of the rarest creatures on this planet, but one of the most common on other   
planets," Kaga says. "You should have no trouble realizing its potential if you   
are true universal chefs. We unveil the Ingredient!" he pulls the red cloth   
away from the top of the table containing the ingredient. A tank raises from   
beneath the stage, full of water. Small, yellow creatures float in the   
environment. Rena's eyes light up as she recognizes the ingredient. Sakai   
holds a mystified look on his face. "The theme ingredient today is... Ganze Sea   
Urchin."  
"If memory serves me right, I was first introduced to these when I visited   
Nede to see my old friend, Yarma. He enjoyed my idea for a Master Cooking   
contest and to celebrate, he served me a dish of Ganze Sea Urchin. It was the   
best seafood dish that I had tasted. This was not surprising, coming from   
Yarma. He gave me a fair number of them to take back to Earth and cultivate for   
whenever I would need them in a battle. I gladly accepted and brought them with   
me to save for a day such as this!"  
"And so, in Kitchen Stadium today, we have Rena Lanford Kenni, homemaker,   
universe saver and self-taught cooking master, versus Iron Chef Sakai, the all-  
time greatest chef in Earth's cuisine in a battle of Ganze Sea Urchins! Sakai,   
not very familiar with this ingredient, may have a bit of trouble at the start,   
but let's see what he can pull out of his bag of tricks and remember that even   
if it doesn't taste good, it'll probably look good coming from Sakai!"  
"Allez cuisine!" Kaga calls to initiate the battle.  
"Sakai rushes to the stage, quickly followed by Rena, to gather as many   
urchins as he might need. As they rush back, the sheer size of the urchins and   
the fact that they are alive gives Rena a moment's heed, but only that much!   
She rushes back to her side of the stage with her pan full of five urchins, two   
large and three small. Sakai has grabbed three large urchins to work with, and   
as they begin their work, let's take a moment to introduce our panel for the   
battle today. I am Kenji Fukui. At the other side of the panel, we have Washu.   
Beside her, we have Mr. Crow T. Robot, actor and torturee."  
"Hi, everybody!" Crow exclaims  
"So, Crow, it's your first time on the show! You having a good time so   
far?" Fukui asks.  
"Of course! I just can't wait for the tasting! I've been a fan of Iron   
Chef Sakai's since the show began!" Crow, whose voice sounds oddly like   
Kurimoto, replies.  
"What about the ingredient, Crow?" Fukui asks.  
"I've never had Ganze Sea Urchin, but I'm sure that Sakai and Rena will   
make it a memorable first meeting," Crow says. "By the way, can you make   
waffles out of Ganze Sea Urchin?"  
"Well, I'm sure that Sakai will find a way if it can be done!" Fukui says.   
"Beside Crow, we have Sailor Jupiter, superheroine. Welcome, Jupiter! It's   
your first time here, too?"  
"Well, yes, but I've learned much of what I can cook from watching the   
show, and my friends all love what I can cook," Jupiter, whose voice sounds   
somewhat along the lines of Keiko Saito, replies.  
"Well, maybe we'll have to have you back the next time that you have a   
free day!" Fukui says. "We'll pit you against Iron Chef Morimoto!"  
"That'd be a hard-fought battle for me," Jupiter states.  
"How do you feel to be eating the food of someone who has saved the   
universe?" Fukui asks.  
"Ah, it's been done," Jupiter responds. "These show-off upstarts these   
days haven't got any idea how to save the world! I mean, how many times have   
Sailor Moon, the others, and I done it?"  
"Well, as long as you don't let it affect your judging," Fukui says.  
"I won't," Jupiter replies.  
"Fukui-san!" calls a voice from the microphone.  
"Floor-reporter Ohta, take it!" Fukui replies quickly.  
"Down here on the challenger's side, there seems to be some hesitation on   
the part of Rena and one of her assistants," Ohta says.  
"I can't do it!" Rena exclaims. "I just can't kill it! Noel, you take   
it!" She hands the quivering mass to Noel.  
"What are you thinking? I can't do it, either! For God's sake, I can't   
even cook! I don't know why you even have me here!"  
"Moral support," Rena explains. "I've only dealt with dead Ganze Sea   
Urchin before!"  
"Oh, for Pete's sake," Chisato exclaims, grabbing the sea urchin and   
squishing the brain between her two fingers. She hands the dead sea urchin to   
Rena for preparation.  
"So, there you have it! We have two who are afraid to kill, one of which   
doesn't even know how to cook very well!" Ohta exclaims.  
"But I can do bird calls!" Noel exclaims into the microphone.  
"Back to you," Ota says. The camera moves to the Iron Chef's side, where   
he has split the urchin and is delicately tasting the flesh and innards.  
"Oh, I'll be able to have some fun with these!" Sakai exclaims. "This is   
perfect!"  
"And Iron Chef Sakai has an idea of how to use his urchins! Immediately,   
he goes into the cupboard for... What's that?" Fukui wonders aloud.  
"It looks like vinegar," Washu says. "Not a real surprise. Urchins that   
size are usually sweet-fleshed. He might have wanted to grab a few of the   
smaller ones to get some of the bitter tasting dishes, as well."  
"Well, we're probably having quite a few desserts, then!" Jupiter   
exclaims.  
"Yeah, but he's supposed to be doing a full-course meal," Fukui   
interjects.  
"Don't worry!" Sakai exclaims from the kitchen floor. "I've got it under   
control!"  
The camera moves back to Rena's side, looking in on what she's doing. She   
has one of the large urchins cut up and has put it in a blender. She turns it   
on for a few seconds until the urchin is a nice consistency. She dumps it into   
a bowl with a mixture of powders. "Now, what's she doing here?" Fukui muses.  
"Well, I'd say that it might be dandruff," Crow says. Everyone stops and   
looks up.  
"The clock is stopped momentarily," calls Magic Voice.  
"Dandruff?" many people ask.  
"Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it!" Crow exclaims. He is   
promptly ejected and replaced with Tom Servo, his counterpart.  
"Well, welcome, Tom!" Fukui says. Work has resumed on the floor. "So,   
your first time, eh? What do you think of the battle so far?"  
"Well, it seems pretty intense, if you ask me," Tom, whose voice sounds   
oddly like Tenmei Kanoh, replies. "I've never had Ganze Sea Urchin before, so   
I'm really looking forward to it. I'm certainly *not* looking forward to any   
dandruff, *Crow*. God, he can be an idiot sometimes..."  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls.  
"Take it, Ohta!" Fukui counters.  
"The mixture of powders in the bowl that you mentioned a minute ago is   
full of a mixture of powders, including sugar, salt, and corn starch. Back to   
you!"  
"So, corn starch," Washu says. "She's probably going for a gelatin,   
then."  
"Urchin-flavored jello?" Jupiter asks. "Won't that be a bit too sweet?"  
"Oh, maybe not!" Washu exclaims. "Rena seems to be adding some lemon   
juice and lime juice to the concoction."  
"Fifteen minutes have passed," says Magic Voice.  
"Now then, if you'll take a look over at the Iron Chef's side, he's dicing   
a half of one of his urchins fairly-large-sized and is dropping them into a pan,   
along with a mixture of spices. The other half is being put into a pot full of   
some sort of liquid," Fukui says.  
"Could he be deep-frying it?" Washu asks. "That's a bit out of the   
ordinary for him. And what are those powders? Looks like paprika and something   
else? Now he's adding a dark sauce, looks like soy."  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls.  
"Ohta, take it!" Fukui says back.  
"In the pan, the Iron Chef does have paprika, and a bit of pepper, mixed   
with soy sauce," Ohta says. "And in the pot, he has a mixture of light sake and   
broth."  
"So, he's making a soup there," Washu explains. "And he's probably going   
to bake those morsels with the spices for a while."  
"Oh, that's too bad," Jupiter says. "I really hate baked fish!"  
"Oh, that's a good one," Tom says as all in the commentator's box get a   
laugh.  
"And the gelatin looks icky," Washu says. All get another good laugh.   
From the floor, a piece of urchin covered with spices takes to the air, hitting   
Jupiter in the face. A glob of gelatin hits Washu in the face.  
"Oh, good aim, Chefs!" Fukui exclaims into the microphone. All laugh   
again.  
The camera moves back to Rena's side, where she has one of the small   
urchins and is cutting it into small slices.  
"Oh, it looks like we've got some sashimi coming here!" Washu exclaims.   
"And some of the bitter ones, too."  
"I hope she adds something to that to make it a bit less bitter!" Fukui   
exclaims. Chisato is removing the top part of the skins of an orange, but   
leaving the flesh inside. Noel is cutting slices of urchin. From time to time,   
he emits the call of the Orange-tufted Flayn, a rare bird, and native to Nede.   
"Moving back to the Iron Chef's side, he has the innards of the urchin and   
is staring at it, trying to decide what to do with it. He can't decide what to   
do with them, and, being a Frenchman at heart, doesn't want to waste a piece.   
Sorry, Sakai, but I think that you're going to have to waste it this time! You   
don't have time to learn the intricacies of Ganze Sea Urchin."  
Sakai's assistants are mixing something for Sakai from the innards in a   
bowl.  
"Well, it looks like he's trying something anyway," Tom says.  
"Hope you guys are ready for a bit of an adventure," Washu says to the two   
panelist/tasters.  
"Hoo-ray," Tom says calmly.  
"Moving back to Rena's side, she has placed the orange halves on a pan,   
and is skinning them," Fukui says. "Now, those are some pretty big oranges!"  
"They were specially flown here from the Philippines for this battle!"   
Washu exclaims.  
"Chisato is slicing apples and placing them next to Rena," Fukui explains.   
"Rena is putting them on top of the orange piles. As Chisato finishes   
with the apples, she halves three cherries and hands them to Rena."  
"Wow, we're having sashimi fruit cocktail?" Jupiter mentions. Noel has   
finished slicing the urchin, so he slices some bell peppers for no readily   
apparent reason.  
On the Iron Chef's side, he is mixing cream with melted butter and a   
blended half of urchin meat. "Oh, he's making a mousse!" Washu exclaims.  
"Urchin mousse?" Tom asks. "Sounds pretty good, I suppose..."  
"A very typical platter for him to prepare," Fukui says. "Well, let's   
just hope that he spices it up somehow!"  
"I'm sure that he will, although I may be wrong," Washu says. "We seem to   
be experiencing a real minimalist battle today. Hardly as many ingredients in   
the plates as normal."  
"Well, you know how it goes around here! Quality over quantity!" Fukui   
says. "If we can take a look over at the Iron Chef's side, we'll see that he's   
finished baking the urchin and is dropping them in a pan of oil and some   
vegetables. He's going to fry them after having baked them, apparently."  
"Well, if they aren't cooked by that time, I'll be a bit worried," Tom   
says.  
"Rena has some rice that Noel prepared while we weren't watching and some   
of the urchin that was being cut by Chisato as well. It has been cut into small   
pillars, not all the way through so as to leave them as slabs."  
"They're probably going to stuff these and bake them for a while," Washu   
says.  
"And, indeed, there is some of the all-purpose foie gras on the counter,   
being put in-between the cuts," Fukui says. "Looks like she's stealing Sakai-  
san's style! Wait, she's putting small slices of squash into the other cuts!   
This'll be different!"  
"Back on Sakai's side, he's dropping onions into the pot!" Washu comments.   
"Is that going to be a soupe a l'oignon? He's got a mousse, a soupe a l'oignon,   
what's next? A quiche? This is turning out to be a very traditional battle for   
Iron Chef formerly French Sakai."  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls.  
"Go, Ohta!" Fukui calls back.  
"I asked the Iron Chef what was up with the traditional battle, and his   
reply was that he wanted to return to basics for starters with this new   
ingredient to him. He knew that this was an interesting change in objective,   
but he thought that it would be nice to try something new in trying something   
old. Back to you," Ohta reports.  
"Good scouting, Ohta!" Fukui says. "So, there you have it! The Iron Chef   
battling new cuisine with old tactics, playing it safe and doing it seriously!   
Chisato wraps the urchin, foie gras, and squash in fat netting. Noel is   
playing around with a few slices of urchin and the bell pepper that he was   
cutting earlier.  
"Now, if we can go back to the Iron Chef," Fukui says, "We'll see that he   
has added some things to the pot that we had originally thought to be soupe a   
l'oignon. He's got a lot more vegetables in there, but I can't make out what   
all there is."  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls again.  
"Go!" Fukui calls back.  
"The Iron Chef has in here red bell peppers, mushrooms, and the chopped   
onions from before," Ohta explains.  
"Thirty minutes remain," Magic Voice announces. Applause and cheers erupt   
from the Royal Box.  
"Okay, we're halfway there, and the two have gotten half of their dishes   
out! They'll probably be wanting to start on some sauces soon," Fukui says.   
"Now, if we can take a look at the challenger's side, Rena's working on a new   
plate. She's putting a few large slices of large urchins into a wok with a   
mixture of soy sauce, bean powder, pineapples, cherries, peppers, and baby corn-  
cobs. She adds a bowl full of stuff to the mix."  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls.  
"Take it, Ohta!" Fukui-replies.  
"In that bowl that she just added, Rena has a bit of sugar, lime juice,   
vinegar, corn starch, and ginger."  
"That's the usual list of ingredients for a sweet and sour sauce. An   
interesting choice for Rena," Washu says.  
"And if we can look back at the Iron Chef," Fukui says, "He's got a few   
different types of fish, and he has them all in the same pan. He sprinkles some   
herbs on the fishes, puts some water in the pan along with them and puts the pan   
in the oven. Wonder what the plan for these are."  
"Well, he's baking them," Washu comments.  
"I can see that, thank you," Fukui says.  
"And they're going to be spiced," Tom comments.  
"Well, yeah, I can see that, too," Fukui says, slightly annoyed.  
"And I doubt that they're going into the mousse," Jupiter says.  
"I miss Doc," Fukui exclaims, exasperated.  
"Swinging back to the challenger's side, we see that a pan of oranges and   
apples is going into the oven!" Fukui says. "Can't help but wonder what her   
plans for these are. If we can swing back to the Iron Chef's side, we'll see   
that a bowl of some sort of green sauce has been prepared and is ready to be put   
on whatever plate he wants it for."  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls from the floor.  
"Take it, Ohta!" Fukui calls back.  
"Speaking to the challenger's husband, he commented about Rena that she's   
cooking variations on some of his favorite foods. He stated that he usually   
prefers steak, but there's not much that one can make out of this in the way of   
steaks. He seemed puzzled by her choice of Noel as one of her assistants, but   
he commented that he trusts her judgment fully."  
"So, nothing surprising for Claude Kenni," Fukui says as the camera swings   
to look at the Royal Box, centering on Kenni. Precis can be seen waving to the   
camera.  
"Ironic, that," Tom comments, half to himself.  
"What's that?" Fukui asks.  
"Oh, nothing," Tom says.  
"No, really," Fukui counters, "It's part of your contract that you have to   
say everything that you think on this show. What were you thinking?"  
"Oh, it was just that Claude enjoys what she's cooking here so much, yet   
he won't get to taste a bit of it!" Tom finishes his thought.  
"Oh, that's funny!" Jupiter comments. "Let's all mock him because we get   
to taste his wife's cooking!" Everyone makes faces at Claude for a moment   
before turning their attention back to the kitchen floor.  
"Now, if we can look at Rena's side," Fukui says, "The fruits are coming   
out of the oven, and Sakai is taking his fish out of the oven, as well! Looking   
at the challenger's side, the oranges are slightly browned, the apples nice and   
juicy!"  
"Oh, that looks nice!" Tom says. "Is he going to spice it?"  
"It doesn't look so," Jupiter says.  
"And placing each on a separate plate with a layer of sashimi on top,   
Chisato finishes it off!" Fukui says. "Wait, she has a bottle of some thick   
brown liquid! Anyone know what that is?"  
"Can't tell," Jupiter says. "Probably not anything she got from her pet   
planet, Nede!"  
"Nope, can't tell, either," Tom says.  
"Concentrated soy sauce? Bouillon?" Washu suggests.  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls out.  
"Take it, Ohta!" Fukui returns.  
"What she has in the bottle is simple maple syrup!" Ohta explains.  
"G'huh?" Tom exclaims, puzzled. "What's up with that?"  
"According to the challenger, maple syrup makes everything taste good, no   
matter what its original taste," Ohta says after asking Rena what's going on.   
Chisato is not putting that on, because Rena wants to do so herself.  
"Now, if we'll look back at Sakai's side, he is placing the fish and   
urchin on plates, readying them for serving. Anybody got an idea of how these   
were prepared?" Fukui asks.  
"That's my cue," Ohta says. "The only thing that the Iron Chef did to the   
fish before putting them in the oven was to soak them in lemon juice to get rid   
of the smell. He says that he did that to let them simmer in each others'   
juices and absorb each others' tastes, at least a bit. When asked to comment on   
the challenger's use of ordinary maple syrup in her dishes, he replied, 'Well, I   
agree that it does make many things taste good, but I don't think that it'll be   
original enough to win the battle.'"  
"Fifteen minutes to go," Magic Voice announces. Cheers and applause erupt   
once again from the Royal Box.  
"So, there you have it," Fukui begins, "The Iron Chef disdainful of Rena's   
use of simple maple syrup in a recipe here, and his green sauce is in a bowl,   
placed near the fish slices, apparently to accompany it. Any word on the   
ingredients?"  
"Yeah, I've got those," Ohta says. "To make this sauce, Sakai mixed lemon   
juice, sugar, pureed broccoli, and a pinch of corn starch."  
"Okay, thanks, Ohta! So, we've got a sweet and sour broccoli sauce on the   
way to coat our fish! And Sakai spoons some caviar on top of the fish, placing   
some green herbs on the side to add some color to it! So, we're finishing up   
some nice plates here around the end. But Sakai probably can get one or two   
more dishes out with fifteen minutes left. Rena, on the other hand has most of   
her cooking done already. She'll probably be able to crank out at least one   
more dish!" Fukui exclaims.  
"Now, if we can take a look back at the Iron Chef's side, if you'll   
remember, he had some fried and baked urchins, and we were wondering what he was   
going to do with them," Washu comments. "If you'll look here, he's dropped them   
in chilled white wine and is letting them soak in the stuff. My guess is that   
there'll be a sauce to go with this."  
The camera moves back to Rena's side, where the urchin with foie gras and   
squash are coming out of the oven. "Okay, so that's done with, her fruits are   
done with, the sweet and sour is still cooking, the gelatin... Where's the   
gelatin gotten to?" Washu asks.  
"I don't know, I lost track of it," Fukui comments. "Well, the Iron Chef   
has finished his fish, the soup is almost finished, the mousse is still   
chilling. "Okay, Sakai has the innards of two of his urchins and is placing   
them into a frying pan with a liquidy-mixture, coating them thoroughly. There   
isn't much there, and I hope that he can get a whole plate out of these. What   
exactly does he have in that brown mixture?" Fukui asks.  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls.  
"Take it, Ohta!"  
"In the pan, the Iron Chef has consummate, water, sugar, soy sauce,   
ginger, and sesame seeds," Ohta reports.  
"Sounds remotely like a Szechwan recipe," Washu comments.  
"My, but he is being bold today," Fukui says.  
"You know, I've never had Szechwan style seafood," Jupiter says. "Let's   
see Rena do that while fighting off bank robbers!"  
"I have," Tom replies. "It was very good, and I'm sure that the Iron Chef   
will make it better!"  
"I thought that there had been an agreement signed that each Iron Chef   
would leave the others' style alone and stick to what they knew," Washu   
comments. "Remember when Chen tried using French-style cooking?" Fukui winces   
in remembrance.  
"Yeah, we almost got sued by the whole country of France. Revenge, maybe?   
Well, let's just see how it comes out. Usually, there aren't rules here, so we   
may not have to stick to them," Fukui replies. "And Sakai *does* have a way of   
pulling out victories in unexpected ways."  
"Well, at least I'm not going to be the one tasting it," Washu replies   
quietly, away from the mike.  
"And, the Iron Chef is adding a red wine to the mixture to get some more   
flavor and volume!" Fukui observes.  
The camera moves back to Rena's side, where the sweet and sour urchin is   
ready. Rena puts it into a new bowl, more suitable for serving. The rice is   
ready, and she places it in another bowl. Lids are placed on both, to keep heat   
in. Rena moves to the Ice Cream machine while Chisato decorates the urchin,   
foie gras and squash. "Did she put something in the ice-cream maker while we   
weren't watching?" Jupiter asks. Rena removes the mixer and scrapes off the   
green goop into small, circular form-molds, which are in a pan. The pan is then   
put on ice.  
"So, it's not urchin gelatin, but it's urchin souffle?" Washu comments.   
Plates are being prepared for the souffle by Chisato.  
"Five minutes remaining," Magic Voice announces.  
"What is Noel doing over there?" Tom asks, indicating a steaming pan with   
Noel in front of it.  
"Well, I don't know, but he's only got five minutes to do whatever it is   
that he's doing," Fukui comments. A blue-jay call can be heard from Noel.  
"And the pace has picked up on both sides, rushing to finish their   
plates!" Sakai spoons the mousse into small. Small bits of raw urchin are   
dropped in to accentuate the flavor. After the Szechwan urchin innards are   
done, Sakai places them on a plate and begins decorating them. Small slices of   
carrots are placed alongside the food while herbs are laid across the top,   
adding color to the plate. "Okay, something's coming out of the oven on Sakai's   
side," Fukui says. "Apparently, he slipped something in there without our   
noticing. It looks cheesy on the top, and the only thing that I can think of is   
the soup."  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls.  
"Go, Ohta!"  
"You're right, this is the pot of soup, over which the iron Chef layered   
some crust, and dropped cheese on top to melt," Ohta explains.  
"Thanks, Ohta," Fukui says. "So, we've got a cheesy crust to go with the   
soup. The assistants are breaking the crust up into smaller pieces that will   
fit in bowls and lathing soup and vegetables in with it. And back on Rena's   
side, Noel has produced a plate with the small Urchin, peppers, a thin layer of   
sour cream, a sprinkle of paprika, and soy sauce on top. Any ideas, Washu?"  
"Nope," Washu comments, "Never seen it before. I suppose that it *should*   
taste good, but I'm not making any promises."  
"Fukui-san!" Ohta calls.  
"Go, Ohta!"  
"Noel has commented that this is not sour cream, but he won't tell us what   
it is," Ohta explains.  
"Okay, so some mystery sauce on the challenger's side," Fukui says.  
"Over on the Iron Chef's side," Jupiter says, "Is that chicken?"  
"What? Where?" Fukui asks as everyone looks where she indicated.  
"Oh, no, it's just my contacts drying out," Jupiter comments as she drips   
some solution in her eyes.  
"One minute remains," Magic Voice announces.  
"Noel, are you sure about this?" Rena asks Noel as he brings her his   
plates.  
"Not at all," Noel replies. "Remember, I don't know how to cook."  
Rena shrugs. "Well, it can't do us any harm," Rena sighs as she sets   
about decorating the final of her plates, along with Chisato. She mutters a   
short heraldic spell on the bowl of sweet and sour urchin.  
"Hey, isn't heraldry illegal in these battles?" Jupiter asks.  
"Only when it's used to alter the flavor in any way," Washu explains.   
"The spell that she just cast was a luck spell. It doesn't really work, it's   
just an old legend on her home planet of Expel." On Sakai's side, he has   
finished the plates a moment early, and contemplates whether he has the time to   
prepare one additional quick dish. He decides against it while rechecking to   
make sure that everything has been prepared perfectly.  
"Thirty seconds remain," Magic Voice calls out.  
"And so, today we have had a universal battle on our hands, a rare theme   
ingredient being dealt with, taken in stride by the challenger, while the Iron   
Chef hesitating for a full two minutes, wading through uncharted waters for   
him," Fukui exclaims. "It looks like we've got five dishes on the challenger's   
side and five for the Iron Chef. The Iron Chef, using very traditional-based   
recipes to counter for his inexperience, and the challenger, very familiar with   
the ingredient, making some fairly new dishes for tasting by the panel, she came   
in here prepared for the worst, receiving the best. And, as the final seconds   
of the battle wind down, action stops on both sides as the dishes are finished   
and people prepare to face judgment."  
"Five seconds... Four seconds... Three... Two... One..." Magic voice   
counts down. The gong sounds.  
"And there's the gong, the cooking is finished, the Ganze Sea Urchin   
battle is OVAH!" Fukui calls out over the applause given to both cooks.  
  
Ohta is standing with Rena after the kitchen has been cleared, so that he   
can interview her.  
"So, Rena, how do you think it went?" Ohta asks.  
"Well, I thought that it went pretty well," Rena comments, wiping a bead   
of sweat from her brow. "The ingredient is pretty easy to work with, and   
usually I can put out dishes with it like that!" She snaps her fingers to   
demonstrate.  
"So, how did your dishes turn out?" Ohta asks.  
"I'd say that they came out pretty well. I'm a bit worried about Noel's   
dish, though. I don't exactly know the extent of his culinary ability."  
"Well, he was constantly claiming that he doesn't know how to cook," Ohta   
replies.  
"I doubt that," Rena says. "I spent a good month traveling with this guy,   
so I know what he can and can't do. Well, to a certain extent, anyway."  
"Do you think you won?" Ohta asks.  
"Well, I did my best, so I'd like to think that I did," Rena replies.   
"Hopefully, my luck heraldry spell will have some effect."  
"Well, good luck!" Ohta says, walking over to Sakai for his interview.   
"So, Sakai, how did you do?"  
"Well, it was tough," Sakai says. "I wanted to try something new, but I   
just thought that it would go a bit better with what I used it for. Maybe if I   
had grabbed some of the smaller ones before they disappeared..."  
"So, do you think that you won?" Ohta asks.  
"Well, I'd say that I've got a good chance," Sakai replies.  
"Good luck!" Ohta says before walking off to sit and watch the tasting.  
  
Challenger Rena has five plates for the panel today. The first is Urchin   
Sashimi Fruit Cocktail. In this, she lightly spiced the apples and oranges   
before baking them, afterwards adding sashimi and a cherry. The simple maple   
syrup is used to enhance the taste and smooth the slippery fruit juice. Next is   
Urchin Pepper with Secret Cream Sauce. This plate is a mystery outside of the   
fact that it has urchin in bell peppers with a sauce and spices. The taste is,   
however, out of this world. Next is Sweet and Sour Urchin Over Rice. A special   
recipe donated to her from an anonymous source leads to this combination of an   
old recipe and a new ingredient to create an exquisite taste with more culture   
than a room in the Louvre. Granted, one of the rooms in the back with old   
Egyptian relics, but still... Next is the Urchin Foie Gras Squash Sandwich.   
The combination of the bitter meat of the urchin, the sweet squash and foie gras   
leaves the taster feeling an interesting cross between American and French   
cuisine. The soy-sauce-based dipping sauce prepared at the last moment   
integrates the Japanese aspect as well. Truly an international dish. Finally,   
we have Urchin Souffle and Fruits. The sweet flesh of the urchin was combined   
with the juices of different fruits, giving the sweet taste a cultured, faint   
bitterness. Lemon and lime juice were added after congealing.  
The Iron Chef counters with five dishes of his own. First is Baked Fried   
Urchin in White Wine. The urchin has had the [expletive deleted] cooked out of   
it and was placed in white wine to soak and cool. The sauce served alongside it   
made with miso, lemon juice, and butter. Next is the Urchin Soup and Vegetables   
Lyon Style. The bread crust and cheese topping give a zesty zing to this dish,   
emphasizing the taste of the urchin. The combination of vegetables works in   
harmony with the slices of urchin that were added before baking. Next is Fish   
and Urchin Combinate. Three different types of fish were combined in the pan so   
that they could soak up each others' juices while retaining their own taste.   
The sauce alongside is made of broccoli, adding a hint of bitter-sweetness to   
the dish. Next is Urchin Szechwan Style. Sakai borrowed what he has learned   
from Iron Chef Chen in creating this plate that would hold its own spiciness in   
stark contrast to the sweet innards of the creature. Finally is the Urchin   
Mousse Surprise. Sakai finishes his mostly traditional menu with a sweet   
reminder of the first experience of Ganze Sea Urchin. Taught to him during a   
recent visit of the master, Yarma, Sakai places the best dish for last.  
  
Today, in the stadium, we had home-maker extraordinaire, Rena Lanford   
Kenni come to show us the labors of her travels through the outermost reaches of   
the universe. Rena chooses as her opponent Iron Chef Terran, Hiroyuki Sakai.   
Chairman Kaga unveils the ingredient, Ganze Sea Urchin! Rena feels right at   
home while preparing the ingredient, supplying five plates. The Iron Chef,   
dealing in unfamiliar territory, cautiously wages forth with five dishes of his   
own.  
And now, the moment of truth, tasting and judgment. Today on the panel,   
we have actor and movie-goer, Tom Servo, superheroine, Sailor Jupiter, Master of   
the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, Genma Saotome, and Princess of the   
Jurai Royal Family, Ayeka. Rena will precede with her dishes.  
"In my dishes today, I tried to make some new dishes based on what I could   
do with the urchin from Expel," Rena begins as the first dish is served. "In   
this, I combined some of my favorite fruits and the sweet sashimi that serves to   
relax the taste buds from the travails of the day."  
"This is pretty good!" Jupiter says. "Not as good as the dumplings that I   
cooked one day while I was fighting off one of the Negaverse's evil minions,   
though..."  
"I love how the syrup soothes the juice from the fruits," Ayeka replies.   
"Usually, when I eat fruit, my throat has an aftertaste of sorts, leaving my   
mouth feeling kind of dry, and kind of rough. The syrup serves to disrupt that   
effect, producing more saliva to lubricate your mouth."  
"I love the fruit, but I don't think that there's enough urchin in here to   
be considered a real urchin dish," Tom says. "At least, that's the impression I   
get from looking at it. When you taste it, though, the taste of the urchin more   
than makes up for the absence in substance."  
"This plate was created without your knowledge, is that correct?" Kaga   
asks Rena as the next dish is served.  
"Yes, that's right," Rena replies, trying to hide her discomfort of having   
it brought to the attention of the scorers that she did not know everything that   
went on in her kitchen.  
"This is... delicious!" Genma exclaims as he chews on the urchin, pepper,   
and sauce. "The sauce serves to bring out the taste of the urchin superbly,   
while the pepper adds a zing to the flavor that stays in your mouth long after   
you swallow!"  
"This is... so *good*!" Jupiter says as she bites into the pepper with   
some sauce on it. "I wish that there had been more of everything! And it's so   
pretty! I almost didn't want to eat it!"  
"Well, you can thank Noel for that," Tom jokes. Everyone laughs.  
"This is an interesting combination of ingredients," Ayeka comments about   
the Urchin Foie Gras Sandwich. "I've never had squash in this way before. I   
think that if you would have a sauce to go with this, though, it would be so   
much better!"  
"Yes, I agree," Genma comments. "It seems a bit dry like this. Could   
someone please refill my water-glass?" As someone humors him, Rena passes out   
her dessert.  
"This is a very interesting color for this. How did you get the green   
color?" Kaga asks.  
"I added a bit of food coloring into the mix after blending," Rena   
replies.  
"This is a nice, smooth texture," Tom comments. "Its soft sweetness is   
nicely tuned along with the flavor of the lime juice on top of it. This is very   
good."  
"Thank you," Rena replies.  
"I taste this, and the urchin isn't very strong at all," Jupiter comments.   
"I think that you could have had a bit bolder urchin taste."  
"The plate wouldn't have held together if she had done that," Ayeka   
comments. "I mean physically. It wouldn't have been physically possible for   
her to do that. This is the best that she could get it. It might not have been   
the best choice of recipe, though."  
And now, the tasting of the Iron Chef's dishes. First up is the Baked   
fried urchin with its sauce.  
"This was your first exposure to this type of urchin, correct?" Kaga asks   
Sakai as the tasters partake of his appetizer.  
"Yes, it was," Sakai replies.  
"This is very good," Ayeka comments. "With the sauce, the wine's flavor   
is also brought out. But even alone, it's good because you can taste the   
urchin!"  
"This is so good!" Jupiter says, taking multiple bites from her plate.   
She pauses form time to time to get some sauce. "The smell of the urchin was   
put down very well in this dish!"  
"The sauce adds just the right consistency to the urchin," Genma comments.  
"I think that the sauce may be a bit thick," Tom comments. "The taste,   
however, is perfect and more than makes up for it."  
"This is delicious!" Jupiter comments about the Urchin Combinate. "What   
are the other types of fish in here?"  
"Well, I have cod and lobster meat," Sakai replies.  
"Well, lobster isn't really a fish, but we'll give you a pass on that   
one," Kaga comments. Sakai and Tom laugh at the joke. Ayeka and Genma were too   
busy eating, and didn't hear. Jupiter just didn't find it funny.  
"The sauce for this is very good on the lobster, surprisingly enough,"   
Genma comments. "I didn't expect broccoli to go very well in a sauce. However,   
this was perfect the way it was."  
"I taste this and I say to myself, 'Wow, this tastes like fish!'" Ayeka   
comments. "And I suppose that's a good thing in a fish dish. The juiciness of   
the fish leads one to think that there would be a fishy smell, but there isn't.   
Very well-done."  
"The spiciness of this is a bit too strong," Tom says as the Szechwan   
style urchin is served. "Yet, you accented the sweetness very well. It almost   
undermines the spice in the dish."  
"I love the flavor of the dish, but there should be more," Genma says.   
"This needs rice."  
"Yes, I'd agree," Jupiter comments.  
"Rice would serve to inhibit the taste a bit, giving it more of a cultured   
taste," Ayeka comments. "As it is, this is something good for younger people,   
with less educated palates. Very strong."  
"Now, this is much more cultured," Ayeka comments as the mousse is served.   
"The taste is much smoother, less abrupt. I love this!"  
"The taste to this is made even better than normal by the fruits added for   
decoration," Jupiter says. "I want you to make some more of this for me another   
time, Sakai-san!"  
"Eager to please!" Sakai says, grinning.  
"This is so much better than the challenger's dessert. It's easier on the   
stomach," Tom says. "I like this lots."  
"The challenger's dishes were much more creative, while the Iron Chef's   
dishes were more geared towards the cultured palate," Genma says. "This'll be   
tough scoring."  
Tough scoring, indeed! The battle didn't smell too fishy, will the   
results? The verdict, in a few moments.  
  
Everyone emerges from the scoring room and takes their place in a line.   
Rena and Sakai are standing in spotlights further back.  
"Today, we pitted a serious cook with a leisurely cook," kaga says. "The   
challenger showed us some interesting new uses for the ingredient, while the   
Iron Chef opened our memories to traditional cooking. A radical tactic, to be   
sure. However, only one of you can take home the title. Now, the verdict."  
"Today we saw two chefs working with a new item to the stadium. Rena was   
completely in her element. She may give the Iron Chef, who was a bit like an   
urchin out of water, a run for his money! Who takes it?! Whose cuisine reigns   
supreme?!"  
  
"Iron Chef, Hiroyuki Sakai!" Kaga calls out.  
"It's the Iron Chef! Facing one of his usual come-from behind victories,   
the Iron Chef has done the unbelievable again! Let's check the scores!  
  
Tom Servo: 18-19 Iron Chef.  
Sailor Jupiter: 16-19 Iron Chef.  
Genma: 19-17 Challenger.  
Ayeka: 18-20 Iron Chef.  
  
And so, once again, Sakai has proven that he really is the master of   
Terran cuisine, and awaits his next challenge! We present our winner, Hiroyuki   
Sakai!  
  
(Roll end credits)  
  
Well, that was fun! Took a bit longer than I thought it would. Maybe   
that's because I spent so much time playing Starcraft. This is gonna get   
tougher in the future. And if anyone stuck with me all the way to the end, you   
must be a real die-hard Iron Chef fan! I commend you! Also, keep in mind that   
I have only a part idea of what I'm doing as far as the recipes go, and if there   
are any discrepancies, then chalk it up to ignorance. I'm just a beginner, and   
it's hard to visualize tastes in my head.  
  
Oh, well. See you next time! 


End file.
